Shawday. (commander_lorax) wrote,

Of course, even then it won't be the same, i'm stewing in my sadness tonight. it's so weird that i absolutly couldn't cut myself but i would go out and totally mess everything up just to get the hormones... that i don't usually get, to make myself happy.
it's hard. being sad?
and you don't know why.
you just want to be happy.
but it never lasts.
i hate it.
i've starved myself,
cut myself
even gave up my virginity,
just to try and find some sort of i'm just trying to do it all right (IE NOT do things above) besides lead some sort of life....
it's hard.

but i'm managing.

sorry for all this.
i'm just being brutally honest. i used to do that alot.

i keep forgetting to put on (extra) deoderent in the morning. :/ of course... i hate this asthma thing.
stupid sweat glands.

I talk to things now.
like "lipgloss, get on my lips." or, "eyelashes... CURL!"
or... "TRAFFIICCCCCC CLEARA12!!!9082KALSDFJKLAS;DJLKF" (minus the random letters and numbers)


i'm just stewing in my loser ness in the evenings.
so please, cheer me up.

or at least call me to see if i'm still alive.

it means more then you know.
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